Poo annoyance

When Mr DBS is on the toilet, I like to stand just outside the door sounding worried and alarmed saying things like: "What was that noise? ...Are you ok? ...WHAT WAS THAT JUST THEN? ...Did you hear that? ...Is everything alright in there?"

This absoutely enrages him, because apparently I 'ruin a good poo' and he 'can't go'.
(DBS, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 15:54, 13 replies)

This
is excellent.
You sod.
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 15:59, closed)

this
has me chuckling quietly to myself, I love it!
(mr_spongmonkey, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 16:28, closed)

my mrs does the "im coming in"
and rattles the toilet door handle whilst im curling one out

She will also say "i know you're playing angry birds in there"
"youve been in there for 20 minutes"
(Cov Boy, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 16:33, closed)

You're evil

( Lord Keeps meaning to procrastinate., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 16:43, closed)

"Stop doing this, you're always doing this, you're making it go back in!"
/clicks
(SimianKid internet faffer, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 16:44, closed)

You're a bitch and there is a special level of hell for people like you.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 17:22, closed)

The missus does this to me all the time.
She doesn't have to be just outside the door though -- since my visits are as loud as a shuttle launch and about as difficult to back out of once underway.
I find it quite funny though and it doesn't generally stop me reading b3ta.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 17:39, closed)

Nasty
Funny
Clicky
(Bergamot B , has not been to the office since, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 0:46, closed)

Genuine Friday office LOL
*clicks hard*
( snee held his breath since, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:16, closed)

^ What they all said ^
CLickety click
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:55, closed)

This is excellent.
I'm trying this one on my gentleman friend.
( Droog is too orangey for crows, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:56, closed)

Thats just mean
I can't bear distractions on the toilet. It just feels wrong to be entering into a conversation whilst voiding one's bowels of faecal matter. (Which on a side note is brown from dead red blood cells apparently).

You are a bad person and the fact you can do such things with impunity is yet another proof, (as if more were necessary), of the non-existence of God.
(unclestinky, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:26, closed)

I also like to pretend to discover his john thomas through his trousers and frown while I feel the outline of it all "what's this?" and also when I'm waiting for him in the car, I like to pretend I don't know who he is when he gets back in, and insist that he's got in the wrong car and must get out. Then persistently ask where he's taking me and threaten to call the police as we drive off. He generally just ignores me these days. I don't know what that indicates about our relationship.
(DBS, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:57, closed)