He lives there..
Again, another one of those stories that isn't mine, and if you are being pedantic, I'm guessing it didn't hurt. But it doies involve rude bits..

I went to a medical school info course at nottingham uni a couple of years ago, and we went to different talks from all these different doctors and their specialities. This Paediatrician comes on, and he's a nice bloke, blah blah workign with kids is very rewarding etcetc (not in a fiddling way though, how dare you think such thoughts) and then he goes on about his training. Apparently when he was a junior doctor this bloke comes in complaining of constipation and his abdomen is all swollen and hard. So they take him down for a scan of some kind and find he's very, very clogged. So they decide to have an explore, so he snaps on his rubber gloves, lubes up, and goes chocolate caving.
Imagine his suprise when he grabs hold of something hard, square, and removes it to find a cheap tourists imitation of nelsons column covered in faeces.
When asked about the item, the patient snatches it out of the doctors hand, and rapidly shoves it back into his rectum, screaming, "Thats Nelson, he lives up there!"
(Dovvit bee, Tue 18 Jul 2006, 15:18, Reply)