Reet big click!
Tabloids are a big peeve of mine. If you ask yourself "What is NEWS?" it's difficult to ascertain a definitive answer.

I take the objective to be something like "Events or developments which are of interest to the wider community".

It is effectively impossible to actually deliver pure news. You always get the reporter / journalist's take on said events as well as the effect any editorial chiefs want to add.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:00, Reply)