Execu-speak
People who use phrases like:
"There's no 'I' in team"
I have found a suitable response to this irritating statement:
"No, but there is a 'U' in CUNT"
(redrewmac *Insert witty comment here*, Wed 7 May 2008, 21:47, 4 replies)

Hmm Do I know You?
Or did we independently come up with this gem?

I involuntarily blurted this out an important meeting once. Promotion was never on the cards after that.
(Lambkin, Wed 7 May 2008, 21:56, closed)

from the Simpsons
Every time I hear one of these phrases I think of the Simpsons episode about Poochie:

Writer: Excuse me, but "proactive" and "paradigm"? Aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important?
[backpedaling] Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that.
[pause] I'm fired, aren't I?
( kingoffools, Wed 7 May 2008, 22:02, closed)

where did you find that response?
1983?
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 7 May 2008, 22:59, closed)

not taking credit
I can't claim this one as a solo effort I'm afraid, more of a collaboration a few years back. I used it on a "team building" day, luckily the boss had a bit of a sense of humour (I think) and knew of my hatred for people talking bollocks.
(redrewmac *Insert witty comment here*, Thu 8 May 2008, 8:36, closed)