*gulp* Let's get this over and done with, then!
Hey – I’m not that longtime a lurker (only nine months or so), I just feel I’ve been meta-referencing this place long enough to finally take the plunge, as it were, and gently lower myself in and register. And hopefully I can find a story to fit this…

While my coital occurrences have been pretty vanilla (hotel rooms, friend’s dining room floor, more hotel rooms, student flats, did I mention the hotel rooms?), my other antics have been a bit more interesting.

I have given my ex-boyfriend a blowjob while in a bush, while his older brother did the weeding about 5 metres away. Also given this boyfriend a handjob at a packed gig and touched him inappropriately at his grandmother’s house. In the same room as his parents and grandmother, that is, but tucked around a corner. He did do a classy thing and finger his next girlfriend at a gig while she was on her period (leading to a lot of mess and mass deduction of man-points), so I think I had a lucky escape.

I have been felt up by my Ex while sitting just off quite a busy road in my home town, under the cover of a poncho. That was pretty fun, especially as a group of yoofs came and sat opposite mid-fingering. I hope they didn’t realize what was going on, though my red cheeks and huge pupils probably gave it away somewhat…

And finally, and most recently, I gave a guy a blowjob on a trampoline while one of his good friends was passed out at the other end of the garden, being attended to by paramedics. I have to say, the funniest bit of the whole affair was what he came out with afterwards (besides the obvious emission, of course); which was “Well done. Not meaning to sound patronising, but well done.” I felt like I’d got full marks on my homework or something.

So that’s it – as I talk about sex way too much, I thought it was an ideal question to break my posting hymen. Please don’t hate me for not being strictly on topic. Apologies for lack of amusement, for excess of length, for wasting your time. That was what sex with my Ex is like!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 18:06, 11 replies)

"I talk about sex way too much"...

that comment is music to our ears!

Carry on doing just that, and you will be grasped to our collective bosom like a much-loved family friend...

(and when we've earned your trust, we'll cop a sneaky feel)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 28 Apr 2009, 18:48, closed)

Is there actually such a thing as
talking too much about sex?????
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 12:43, closed)

Sounds interesting.
Which hotel you staying in? ;-)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 18:49, closed)

^^

*clicks reply*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 28 Apr 2009, 18:52, closed)

Ha
It varied from time to time, but one apparently is really well-known for where prostitutes hang out.

Great.

I'm a common whore.

And I didn't even get paid!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 19:03, closed)

I like this
It's a good post - well done. Not meaning to sound patronising, but well done.

*clicks*
( TheMagicDwarf is back like ballroom dancing, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 9:01, closed)

Thank you!
I ventured into /talk, it's nice to be patronised after that! Nothing against /talk, I'm just over-nervous. I've little idea of noobetiquette, it seems to be not-be-seen-and-heard until the L plates are gone! But thank you. I'll try not to be a one hit wonder ;)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 16:35, closed)

Trampoline?
I really hope the two of you were bouncing around during the deed.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 11:10, closed)

It was a blowjob.
And we were trying to be discreet. A friend wandered over, who he hadn't seen since coming back from uni, so we had to sit up and look innocent. He then proceeded to drunkenly ramble to the two of us then pissed in a bush. Thankfully, after that, people probably cottoned on that we were at least doing SOMETHING.

I referred to it as the tramp-oline in a text the next day to a mutual friend, who promptly told everyone. I'm proud of that joke. Even if it is awful!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 16:38, closed)

Ooh baby
That's some romantic shit right there
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:55, closed)

Jolly good stuff
Well done *click* :)
( chart cat has an itch, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 5:31, closed)