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This is a question Pubs

Jeccy writes, "I've seen people having four-somes, fights involving spastics and genuine retarded people doing karaoke, all thanks to the invention of the common pub."

What's happened in your local then?

(, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 20:55)
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The moths flew out of my wallet,
and I looked up at the barman, who was looking at me in pity. Grimacing, I turned away and decided to nurse what was left of my ale. The overcrowded bar smelled of cigarettes, spilled beers, body sweat and the faint trace of a woman's perfume. The taste was acrid at the back of my throat. The noise of everyone laughing and talking and joking was almost too much to bear, a dull roar I couldn't focus enough on to listen to any one conversation out of the dozens that were going on around me.

I raised my glass to my lips and sipped slowly, closing my eyes momentarily before opening them and letting my head hang forward to stare at my hand wrapped protectively around my ale.

"Two Strongbows please" said a soft voice over to the right from me. I concentrated on what was left of my ale, watching the bubbles on the head of the beer slowly rise from the bottom of the glass to the top, bursting at the top with a fizz that was inaudible in the noisy pub.
A glass of cider was pushed in front of my line of vision. I looked up blearily and saw the barman nod at a girl who was looking at me with an odd expression on her face.

I tried to figure it out. She was smiling, but it wasn't the smile of someone who was enjoying themselves - it was more like she saw straight through me, to the deepest corners of my mind, where the darkest parts of myself were struggling to break free and consume me.
Like she suddenly knew everything about me - but still wanted to do something to brighten my day.

I hated it. Resented it. I wasn't a charity case. I felt anger flare briefly inside me, yet it died instantly when I looked at her eyes. Her beautiful, gray eyes. They were worn and tired, and looked like they were brimming with secrets, things she wanted to say - but never could. There was an incredible amount of sadness behind those eyes.

I suddenly understood the reason behind the cider. Something of myself I could see in her eyes, and I knew she could see something of herself in mine.
I raised my glass, toasted her, watched as she did the same, and then we slowly quaffed from the glasses, and I felt the ice cold cider slip down my throat. Throughout, her eyes never left mine. I couldn't notice anything but her eyes, not her pale skin, rounded face, thick blond hair. They were all just blurred into the background.

I finished my drink and stood up. Slowly, I walked carefully over to her. Aware that there were people around me, and that the barman was watching our silent exchange out of the corner of his eye, I simply lent down and let my lips brush against hers for the briefest of moments, feeling the warmth of her hand sinking into my waist where she'd placed it, smelling the scent of her perfume. Roses, I thought, or maybe freesias.

I straightened, looked at her, felt a hot stinging in my eyes before walking out of the bar into the cool air outside to sink against the wall of the pub. I closed my eyes and felt a small, fine hand slip into mine and smelt the scent of her perfume on the air.

"Thank you." I breathed, squeezing her hand.

This is the first time I've ever done this....so I'm sorry if it's not good enough :(
(, Sun 8 Feb 2009, 12:06, 12 replies)
Needs more vomiting
or piss, piss seems popular this week.

actually that was very nice
(, Sun 8 Feb 2009, 12:30, closed)
Oh okay
next time I'll have more bodily fluids present.

thank you. I was nervous as hell posting that! I thought I'd be lynched for trying to write something fluffeh and nice!
(, Sun 8 Feb 2009, 12:37, closed)
Never.
For every semi evolved, monobrowwed, monosyllabic moron who would dare cast their scorn upon such a display of both courage and fine writing there are a dozen stout hearted lads and lasses who will leap to your defence.
Better still, since this is a war of words, we're so much better armed than they are.
(, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 16:06, closed)
finish it off with
'the sadness in here eyes gave way to anger as i bowked a litre of sodden beer/bar nuts into her preposterously large cleavage, shat myself, and wiped it on her top lip' and you're done. masterpiece :D
(, Sun 8 Feb 2009, 12:46, closed)
this^

(, Sun 8 Feb 2009, 18:33, closed)
needs more ylang-ylang :)
well this is a distinct improvement on reading about people having a poo at the bar, more please!
(, Sun 8 Feb 2009, 13:54, closed)
I like it.
Lose the last line, though... be confident! :)
(, Sun 8 Feb 2009, 14:23, closed)
And then what happened?
I was expecting something like this...

The scent of her perfume taunted me as we walked home hand in hand. I could feel the warm meat juice from my kebab running down my right hand. The hunger for her touch was only marginally outstripped by that for my doner. As I romantically popped the last morsel of expertly roasted processed lamb into her mouth I had the sudden urge to feel her warm body against mine. I pulled her tightly towards me and we embraced under the warm glow of the Lidls shop front. The beauty and silence of the moment was only punctuated by her chewing on the lamb I had givenher moments before.
(, Sun 8 Feb 2009, 18:37, closed)
Thank you.
No really, great story. Some very familiar feelings expressed there. *click*
(, Sun 8 Feb 2009, 22:32, closed)
I liked the lack of body fluids!
so there!
(, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 14:39, closed)
Nice one!
Keep up the good work! :)
(, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 12:52, closed)
Very well written and atmospheric.
Don't worry about it being too fluffy. Part of what makes b3ta what it is is the co-existence of the fluffy and the spiky.

* clicks *

(, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:04, closed)

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