It's frustrating to read stuff like this
and I mean this not as a criticism at all, this is a depressing story which is far too common, and I feel very sympathetic to you.

This may be pointless wittering, but anyway . . .

What is frustrating is that there is a pretty well tried and tested solution, but the people who would benefit from using it are usually the least likely to actually take advantage of it - again this is not a criticism of the poster.

When I was 12, just finished my first year of secondary school, my parents decided that life in the country would be better, and moved us from London to the sticks (somewhere in the Cotswolds). This involved a change of school, where of course my brother and I stuck out like sore thumbs, mainly because of our accents.

The first day we were there, there was a lot of curiosity. Some of it rather ominous - seems us interlopers were unwelcome by a few of the kids - which culminated in me being surrounded by 4 or 5 jeering kids during lunchbreak, intent on showing me that things in the countryside are different to where I came from.

This is, from what I can see, the crossroads where one way leads to being a victim. Acting on some advice that my Dad had given me not long before, I stepped forward and punched the nearest kid firmly in the face.

Now, I'd like to report that during the ensuing melee I Kung Fu'd and Karated the whole gang into whimpering submission, but in truth they gave me a good kicking. As with all school fights, this was 30 seconds of headlocking, with a few punches and kicks. It was all over by the time one of the teachers had got to us, and unfortunately he had seen me throw the first punch, and I was dragged off to the heads office and given a bollocking. That may well have set the tone for my subsequent very mediocre educational career, but that's a different story.

Point is, though the likely lads from class 2I never particularly liked me after that, none of them ever really gave me any more hassle. I was the cunt from London even 5 years later, but I was the cunt from London who punched people in the face if they threatened him. (In fact, that was the one and only time I ever punched anyone in the face at school).

That's what made the difference, I think. It's a real shame that this isn't understood by bullying victims.

I won't hesitate to tell my kids the same thing. Stop it before it can start. You might get a jab back, but it's worth the trouble.
(username failed moderation, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:54, 1 reply)

I don't like to advocate violence but
when my lad had issues after moving to a school following a lack of effective action from the head teacher I advised him thusly : "If it happens again and is getting worse and they follow you (he was actually quite sensible and would try to walk away) hit the ringleader, hit him once but hard enough to put him down first time. Don't shout, gloat, or think you won't get into trouble, you will. I will be angry that you have resorted to violence but if it is your last resort I will support you completely."

It did, he did, I did. That was about five years ago and he is very happy at the school and is even quite good mates with the ringleader. Might have got lucky with the advice and clearly won't work for everyone (judging by theOP) but it just might.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 12:46, closed)

I'm not underestimating how difficult it is to
do this - if you are genuinely scared of someone, the idea of twatting them is probably terrifying.

It's just a shame knowing how effective it is, and how big a difference it can make to a miserable life, that it is so rarely done.

I'm not an advocate of violence either, but I can let this one go as it's just fighting fire with fire.
(username failed moderation, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 13:04, closed)

My daughters going thru a bit of a trot atm.
About 3 years ago (in pre-primary) this kid hit her with wooden block that she'd been told to tidy up by the teacher. Apparently he was building his fortress. After being admonished he told the teacher to "fuck off, cunt". Quote, unquote.
He got suspended for 3 days for that. Him and his older sister have been banned from the local childcare centre and the place they goto now for after school-care has both of them on a social contract.
There's been a few incidents in the last couple of years where he's singled my daughter out.
By no means constant for her but he does pick on other kids as well.
I've suggested to her on more than 1 occasion that if she were to thump him (she's physically bigger than him) I'd back her up all the way & that frequently this is the only way to get bullies to stop.
She's just not that type of kid.
It's a tough 1 - I suggested to the head that me and the missus have a sitdown with his parents. It seems they're not that fussed about his behavior *unless* he's about to get suspended/expelled, then they've got lots of excuses for why he's a little scrote. Every excuse bar the fact that they don't seem to want to take responsibility for their son or trying to teach him how to be a functioning member of the human race.
If I were 30 odd yrs. younger I'd have have that fucker bailed up behind the bicycle shed pounding his face till he cried. (Clearly no euphemism).
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 8:59, closed)

It's not a completely idiotic
idea to enrol her in karate lessons.

It's not primarily an exercise in teaching her to beat people up (although given enough time, she will learn that), it's a great way to give her the confidence she needs to stand up to bullying.

My daughter started when she was 4. She doesn't have any trouble at school, not because she's some kind of thug, but because she doesn't react at all to any threats from other kids.

Recommended - this works for any age / sex too.
(username failed moderation, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 10:43, closed)

I did a few years of aikido & judo when I was a sprog.
Like I said - she's just not that kinda girl.
Try and tackle her for the ball on her Sunday game however - you'd just better watch the fuck out motherfucker!
I'm her coach...
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:12, closed)

Why not.
Anything that teaches her to defend herself can't be a bad thing. It really is as much about self confidence as it is kicking some big kid in the nuts.
(username failed moderation, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:00, closed)