No kangaroos.
The following are all replies to real, actual, honest questions that have been asked of me when I tell people where I live. They may not be breathtaking examples of ignorance, but they are certainly extensive.

No, I don't mean Australia.
No, it isn't in Germany.
No, it isn't in Switzerland either.
Well, I can sort of understand why you think it might be in Italy, as English uses the italian version of the name of the capital city. But, ffs, it is a major european country. Get some general knowledge, even if it is only to win beer in a pub quiz.

Yes, it snows in the winter.
No, I don't ski to work.
Yes, they have the Boys Choir and the dancing horses. No, I don't go to see them every day.

No, there isn't actually that much yodelling.
Or lederhosen, although some people do wear them for folkdancing.

No, the danube is neither beautiful nor blue, at least where I am.

Yes, they "have the internet" there. Other things that also exist here include, but are not limited to: trains, restaurants, television, bookshops and the same films you see in the cinema.

Yes, you can drink the water.
No, they don't have those biscuits. Well, actually they do, but they call them something else. Same with the sausages.

I have no idea whether we can get Sky.

Actually, they speak German. No, it still doesn't make it in Germany, any more than Jamaica is in England.

Yes, I can speak it. No, it wasn't that difficult. Monolingualism is not genetically encoded into the British.

Yes, there are mountains. No, they are not the Himalayas.
No, I don't live in a chalet. You're thinking of Switzerland again. In about 1880.

Yes, Hitler came from there. And Joseph Fritzl. No, you are thinking of Natascha Kampusch, not Natascha Kaplinsky - she reads the news on Channel 5. No, they are not "all like that", whatever that means.

No, "that bloke who started World War 1" was not shot there. If you are referring to Archduke Franz Ferdinand, he was shot in Sarajevo.
(ragged, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 19:47, 13 replies)

I've been there
Have you been on that big wheel thing?
I went on that.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 20:22, closed)

Yes
Orson Welles was not there. Nor did anyone play the zither.

However, I offer this for your amusement:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FvpHQxeTi4
(ragged, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 20:29, closed)

hah, offering them a Dutchman in Austria
no wonder its confusing
(bovine intervention, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 22:32, closed)

I went to Austria once
It rained all day and no shops were open on a Sunday.
( The Coast Of Yemen, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 20:44, closed)

Ah
now that IS true. Sorry.
(ragged, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 20:49, closed)

I went to Bruges
it was shit.

Good thing it's not in Austria, really.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 21:07, closed)

I've been to Belgium twice...
And it was closed both times.

Well, it seemed like it anyway...I'd like to goto Bruges - don't they have midgets there?
( snee held his breath since, Mon 22 Mar 2010, 14:56, closed)

Do you
say "criky" a lot?
(barrycounty, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 21:24, closed)

I hate austria
somebody stole my copy of Der Spiegel in the airport.

I did get to say this, though: www.b3ta.com/questions/chattingup/post588684

She only had a slight Wien accent, at least. Not so much as to make me run away screaming.
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 22:06, closed)

Aha! You live in Liechtenstein!
;)
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 22:23, closed)

In case anyone does need to know
Sky would be receivable there but you'd need a quality LNB and a large dish, something in the range of a 2.5M - 3.0M Diameter.

A lot of trouble to go to just for endless repeats of The Simpsons but who am I to judge.
(bill, Mon 22 Mar 2010, 0:39, closed)

"Monolingualism is not genetically encoded into the British"
You expect people to believe this? :@ )
( blyerkit e k trilby, Mon 22 Mar 2010, 9:05, closed)

You have a fair grasp of English
For an Austrian.

Well done.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 22 Mar 2010, 16:51, closed)