farting on command
i used to be able to inhale (is that the right word?) air in thru the bumhole, by lying on my back and contracting stomach muscles. then blowing out said air in various different fart types, rippers or clappers, dependent on bumcheek control. i discovered this by accident on NYE 1991, and was a regular party piece for ten years. we emailed 'Mister methane' and told him of my gift, and he said he only knew of one other who could do it. Les Dennis! my father would have got me out of bed if he had folk in on the drink to perform this, and my record was 24 single farts off of one inhale. anyway, i had to stop because i was showing the wife it cos she had heard, sucked in far too much air and was in agony for couple of hours, farting every 5 or 10 seconds, then i took a nose-bleed, then a panic attack. my sister found me on the bathroom floor curled in a ball, jaw and arms locked, covered in blood, farting like crazy. it was never mentioned again.
(terryhoosh remembers when this was all fields, Sun 17 May 2015, 23:45, 1 reply)

You had a nose bleed, and a panic attack, as a result of trapped wind?
And not due to punching above your narcotics weight-class?
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 18 May 2015, 13:47, closed)