Well, that taught 'emSammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.
One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.
ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."
What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
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Oooh Shiny!I work in the graphics dept of a print works. One of our directors has 2 faults - he is one of the most vain people i know, constantly combing his hair, and he is also a bit of a clueless nobber.
His first crime was on Comic Relief day earlier this year when 2 minging old women came in dressed as nuns from the front, but the back of their habits were cut away to reveal stockings and thongs. Most people gave them a quid or so (to get them out of their eyeline before they heaved), but if anyone was a bit slow, he would pipe up ' Come on you tight git, I've put 20 quid in'.
Nothing wrong there you may think........except he later put it in as an expenses claim!
Secondly, I personally have helped a client set up a monthly magazine, giving them loads of advice and technical help with software etc, and they recently celebrated their 50th issue and had a party at a local restaurant. I found out when they phoned up and during the conversation casually mentioned it was a shame i couldn't make it, and he had filled in for me.
Utter Cnut! He hadn't said a word to me! What makes it worse for me is that he has absolutely nothing to do with them work wise.
When the magazine artwork next came in, there he was, on the 'party pics' page, queuing up for his free feast. This displeased me somewhat, and unluckily for him i did something i shouldn't have.
As i work in graphics i am fairly comfortable with photoshop. 5 minutes later there he was, all his hair missing, and a nice shiny 'Right Said Fred' style in its place. I printed it out, with the intention of pinning it up on a notice board while he was out. However, just as i did, another Director came up, saw it, pissed himself and ORDERED me to sneak it in the magazine. It was duly printed, and over 15,000 have just been sent for distribution.
The best thing about the deed, is that he lives in the area where it is distributed free to every door, and if he does go bonkers, i have a written statement from Director2 saying it was all his idea.
Never piss off a 'shopper who has access to your image!
I reckon he will actually cry!
(, Thu 26 Apr 2007, 18:23, Reply)
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