YummyMummy
Age 16, was going steady with a girl a year younger than myself. She worked in a fish & chip shop on the odd night, and as a chivalrous young man (looking to get the stinky finger) I would escort her to the shop, and back home once she was finished.
So one Friday evening I find myself bored off my tits in my parents house, just waiting until the g/f finished her shift. Decided to nip up to my best mates, see what he was up to, and just shoot the shit for an hour or two, this would have been around 9pm.
So chap-chap on the front door and his mum answers. She would have been around 35yr old, small and quite slim (there was no hubby). Anyhoo, this night she answers the door wearing a dressing gown, her hair wet as though she just stepped out the shower, holding a glass of cider in her hand. It looked like this wasn't her first glass of the evening.
"Is Mike in", I asked.
"No, he's just popped out to the shop, you can come in and wait if you want", she replied.
I pondered, thinking of the time, having to go and meet the g/f, and I declined.
"It's no problem, you can come in and wait", she once again offered.
So made my apologies and went to stand outside a chip shop freezing my bollocks off.
Next day, went back up to see my mate. He answered the door and we both headed up to his room to catch up.
"I called for you last night, where were you", I asked.
"Oh, I was staying the night through at my girlfriends", he said. His girlfriend lived in a town about 12 miles from ours.
"Oh, did your Mum know you were through there", I asked, the balls starting to fall into place.
"Yeah, told her before I left", was the reply.

You have no idea the permutations my diseased little brain has come up with after all these years. There are many more, but this is definitely the biggest deposit I've made in my wank-bank.
(cargoeng, Sun 26 Aug 2012, 19:45, 2 replies)

Just remembered, must have been a few years later, me and my mate were having a bit of a knees up in his house before heading through to see our girlfriends (I ended up shagging his g/f best mate, right dirty mare!!). Anyhoo as I was now earning, I sent my mate to the shop to fetch some more beer.
This gave me ample time to have a good rummage around his Mums panty drawer, unfortunately couldn't find any UBG (Used But Good).
God I was such a pervert back then, glad I've not changed!!
(His Mum was working as some sort of alcohol travelling sales person, used to be away for a few nights at a time).
(cargoeng, Sun 26 Aug 2012, 19:52, closed)

Balls clearly never fell into place.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 26 Aug 2012, 20:18, closed)