My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
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rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
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Not the greatest, but it's what I got.Being an environmentally conscious fellow, after wanking instead of using, say, kleenex, I clean myself off with a large handkerchief I've set aside for the purpose. Said handkerchief will henceforth be known as the "spankerchief". Anyway, since the spankerchief obviously needs to be cleaned on a regular bais, I usually throw it in with my laundry. This particular weekend, however, I was visiting home, and being a starving college student, brought some laundry with me so I wouldn't have to pay for the coin-op.
Later that weekend, my mom decides to help me out a little by doing my laundry for me. Walks into the kitchen, where I'm making a snack, holding the spankerchief and asking what was all over it. Naturally after a good week-and-a-half's use it was rather stiff.
Being quick thinking, I say I've had some rather bad allergies lately, and I've only got the one handkerchief.
Later that weekend she obligingly gives me a few extra handkerchiefs so I don't have to "blow my nose" into one that's been so well used...
(, Thu 3 Jun 2004, 1:13, Reply)
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