The Garden
Growing up in a rural community a VEGE GARDEN was what proper people have.

In various flats over the years I have dug the turf and disturbed the worms before being distracted by VERY IMPORTANT PROJECTS.

I'm all grown up now and have my own house. Over the last 6 years I periodically disturb the weeds in a frenzy of PREPARING THE SOIL. Alas the weeds are more tenacious than I...

Having recently been made redundant (not a failure, more a relief) I have decided that as a house owning, 40 something I should whip this garden into place.

Things I have learnt
* Digging in hign summer is Hot Thirsty Work
* Beer is quenching during Hot Thirsty Work
* Beer consumption and output of Hot Thirsty Work are inversely proportionate.
* I like beer better than Hot Thirsty Work
* There is always tomorrow

Because the garden is riddled with a pervasive creeping weed, in my (pre beer) wisdom I decided to dig and sieve to get rid of the roots of said pervasive creeping weed. Sieving is Hot Thirsty Work. See above work plan.

I have thus far dug a fucking massive hole. If oil starts to bubble from the ground I shall not be surprised. Post beer I comtemplate loading the old truck and Allie May and moving to Beverly Hills. Alas thus far I have only struck old chicken bones.

If it were the height of the cold war I could tell the meighbours that this is the start of my fall out shelter. Obviously I am a man after my time...

Therefore the failure is not mine but my parents for having me too late.

Also I blame creation. Why do weeds grow so well but potatoes and carrots require planting and nuturing?
Furtermore why do Breweries produce cheap, quenching, tasty beverages which are easily availible at my supermarket?

Damn you garden for taunting me and sprouting fresh (non edible) growth after a couple of days of rain.

Maybe next year
(schrodingers cat now you see me, or not, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 22:40, 6 replies)

B&Q baths
they sell them for about £3. there's already a drainage hole in them. fill them with soil, plant your seeds and watch them grow!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 22:59, closed)

Great idea
but where did you get the £3 price from, cheapest I can find on their website is £250....
(Kip, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 14:09, closed)

they were selling them about a month ago
for £3. very cheap models, but still, £3 is a very cheap price. must have been overstocked or something. are you sure the prices you're seeing aren't for an entire bathroom suite?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 17:40, closed)

Potatoes
don't, just plant them.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 5:14, closed)

Don't worry yourself there
In a moment of guilt stricken madness bought on by the very 'grown up' behaviour of buying a house I planted some tatties 6 years ago. Every year they sprout and spawn their evil stunted offspring. They crumble in the pot and taste terrible even with great lashings of butter. Try as I may to eradicate them they have a powerful network to hide the persecuted potato until the following spring when they rise again.
Die zombie spud die.
(schrodingers cat now you see me, or not, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 7:46, closed)

A potato box...
...is the answer

seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/homegarden/2002347126_potatoes25.html
(Mousy Tongue ...Generally bemused by life..., Sat 5 Dec 2009, 21:51, closed)