The Superdrug house band
Not to long ago (hence my having no need for wavy lines), I found myself in Superdrug.

What was I doing there? Well, I couldn't find what I was after in Boots.
What couldn't I find in Boots? Well, it's none of your business. I'd suggest JLS condoms for comedy effect but that would be untrue since I have no need for condoms, particularly ones featuring the visages of the latest 3-character pop group. (MN8 FTW!)
Why don't I need condo...
By Jove, these digressions are getting ridiculous! On with my tale.

Anyway, I was in Superdrug, that has been established now. It is a custom of mine to listen to songs of my choosing on my MP3 player of choice whilst I peruse the shops on my local thoroughfare, or, I listen to some well bangin' choons when I'm in town innit!
But it is also my way of doing things that I take my earphones out when I am about to purchase the goods I desire, so that the transaction can go as satisfactorily as possible for both the vendor and customer.
On this fateful occasion though I happened to remove them too hastily, and it was so that I was to experience for the first time in my score plus eight years the "songs" of Superdrug's instore radio station.

I am unsure how exactly the licensing of songs broadcast in shops works but I presume a fee must be paid, and I can only presume that in some cases it works out as slightly cheaper for shops to hire some session musicians to do passable cover versions of the latest popular tunes.
Some people reading may have already heard the music played in Superdrug and thought nothing of it, the covers are passable as I have already said, especially I should imagine when heard at a low volume. But on this day the volume of the music was somewhat above a murmur, maybe somewhere around that of my late Grandmother's television whilst Bergerac was on.

And it was so that I was subjected to around about a verse and a chorus worth of Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put on a Ring on It)" as sung by a person evidently much less talented than the aforementioned pop star, with a backing track of dubious production values.
I thank God that I am not completely adverse to that song, as I cannot begin to comprehend what a version of something akin to "I Gotta Feeling" would sound.

If there is a moral to be found in my rather erratic tale it is this; you may not appreciate some musical acts but stop and imagine for a while the horrors which the Superdrug house band could conjure up for your own unsuspecting ears.

Oh, and don't read too much Victorian fiction all at once, it makes your writing style go all funny (but not, alas, in a humorous manner).
(Jimmy Savlon, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:26, Reply)