I used to be a courier in London
and surprise surprise saw shit loads of unpleasant stuff you don't really want to have to see just going to work.

The bodies in traffic accidents sort of added up; I would hardly say you ever get used to seeing them, you just sort of get less shellshocked passing them by. The 'best' was a a scooter who went right under a truck; bike mangled to bits, early in riding days that left me so phased I got into a fight almost immediately with some cunt giving some dude on a bicycle grief, directly opposite Holborn nick. Fortunately, given I punched the bloke once or twice in the face, the cop who emerged from the cop shop was sympathetic why I might have been hot headed given the carnage I described just up the road. He defused the situation by stating the guy under the truck actually emerged from the truck relatively unscathed. Which sort of made me feel happy but a bit of a twat at the same time.

Then there was genuine fucking carnage. Off Hatten Garden some guy on a bicycle was flattened by a truck doing a left off Farringdon Road and his head went under the wheels. As everything came to a halt even on a bike you slow down and look at what's going down. It wasn't pleasant. Took a while to realise what exactly had happened at which point I turned off the bike and radioed in someone needed to take the packages off me. I was in no mental state to carry on working after that. Curiously, as the cops, ambulances, and fire crews turned up, I remember seeing one bike cop puking up to the side of his bike. I was still sat on mine the otherside of the road. I remember that vividly.

I was lounging on my bike another time waiting (you always do lots of waiting as a courier) on Great Titchfield Street and some guy got stabbed to death in the doorway of a Chemist. Directly in front of me the other side of the road. That was a bit mental. At the time I didn't know he was stabbed to death, because I was bored shitless and half paying attention to reality; there was just this commotion, a scuffle and the guy was lying in the doorway. And like by magic my controller radioed in and was giving me details as a crowd of people gathered. I found out he was killed when I pulled up there the other end of the day. The whole episode ended up on Crimewatch, without me the other side of the road I might add.
( Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 1:31, 40 replies)

To be fair; cyclists in London bring it on themselves.
I am regularly having a go at them for red light jumping, and will actively stop anyone riding on the pavement near me.

it seems they think the rules of the road should only apply to others; like they should be exempt because ... well ... I'm saving the planet actually because my carbon footprint is neutral? Actually?

Here's an idea - if you can't or are unwilling to obey the rules of the system that you are voluntarily entering into - in this case, that of the road - then don't enter the system.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 7:24, closed)

There'd be fewer congestion if everyone would just walk everywhere, fucking lazy cunts

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 8:50, closed)

I am regularly having a go at pedestrians for bollocking cyclists who are trying to save the planet.
If you can't walk in peace then don't enter the system.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 25 Feb 2015, 8:55, closed)

Shut up you hippy.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 9:15, closed)

Ooh, it's been a few months since this argument was last aired.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 9:06, closed)

Well overdue an airing, by now everyone must have formed exciting, well-considered new opinions on the subject

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 9:08, closed)

Also: contains upsetting levels of Honda Accord.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 9:09, closed)

Look everyone! Vag is here to show us how nonconformist his opinions are!

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 10:02, closed)

It's hardly non-conformist to expect people to observe the rules of the road if they're on the road, is it?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 10:03, closed)

Hating on cyclists is soooo 2014.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 10:27, closed)

on
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 10:31, closed)

that's a four wank story
Cheers.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 8:08, closed)

for me it is now a five wank story

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 8:58, closed)

Fucking cyclist cunts
They should stay in the cycle lane where they belong. The road is for CARS.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 9:15, closed)

one squeezed his stupid red panting self down the middle of the two lanes of traffic on the embankment the other morning
and in doing so rode smack into the side of my cab. he started effing and blinding, to which the cabbie - pretty reasonably i thought - asked him why he wasn't in the cycle lane.

"it's fucking optional," the cyclist snarled. i felt like asking him how he'd like it if i walked slowly down the middle of the cycle lane and held his speed down to a fucking crawl. but i didn't, because he looked sort of stabby.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 9:31, closed)

It is optional. What really matters is whose fault the collision was.

( Peej, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 9:43, closed)

then why bother having it? narrowing down the street for decent human beings...
also if you ride into a non-moving vehicle, it is inevitably your fault. darwinism in action.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 9:51, closed)

I'm sure there are many examples of things that exist but are optional.
Banisters are a constant source of irritation in my house. I am of the belief that they should be used at all times as that's what they are there for. However my kids say "It's fucking optionaaaaahhgghhhhhh bump bump bump owwww waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah DADDYYYY!"
( Peej, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 10:15, closed)

Yeah.
Your kids are pricks.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 10:21, closed)

They pay stair tax!

( Peej, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 10:54, closed)

Haven't you taught them stair jumps yet?
Just what kind of parent are you?
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 5:57, closed)

And here we go.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 9:48, closed)

some of them are alright
but some of them are utter utter pricklords
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 9:51, closed)

You could say the same about cyclists.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 10:28, closed)

Er ...
I think she did.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 10:31, closed)

I like MM was referring to cabbies...

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 10:33, closed)

Vaggy's getting slow in his old age.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 11:42, closed)

There is this excellent insane old woman who marauds the streets of Oxford.
She's always outrageously drunk, and does entertaining things like getting on the buses of unsuspecting drivers, and standing there ranting incoherent abuse at them.

The reason I mention her, is her particular hatred of passing cyclists (of which Oxford has a great many), at whom she will charge and engage in an awkward melee. I've seen her kick man-and-bike clean off the pavement.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 10:38, closed)

I love my mum.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 10:48, closed)

We all do

( Peej, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 10:55, closed)

I no longer love her anus.
It's a little gapey for my liking these days.
( sm.pl.crt.rs I don't fucking know, do I?, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 16:05, closed)

She should have her own pub.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 25 Feb 2015, 13:11, closed)

Excellent internet hardmanning.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 10:07, closed)

"I decided he should sit down"

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 10:20, closed)

There was a dead cat on the road today, I dun a :(

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 12:09, closed)

I once found a dead cat in my shed.
I threw it into next door's garden.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 13:14, closed)

Atre you The Hulk or summink?

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 25 Feb 2015, 13:31, closed)

He just threw the cat you fucktard, not the whole shed.
*assumes to be the case*
( sm.pl.crt.rs I don't fucking know, do I?, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 16:06, closed)

I found a dead mouse under the sofa
I've no idea how long it had been there for but it was rather desiccated.

I threw it in the garden for the cats to play with.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 16:16, closed)

Here's the OP, being well tough, again.
b3ta.com/links/1279463
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 9:53, closed)