I can hear voices
Now, for some background, I'm an audiologist. Basically, all these shrivelled up, creaking and groaning old people come to me when they have problems with their hearing. We fit hearing aids, they can hear their bowels voiding into their colostomy bags again, joys all round.

However, we occasionally get people in who are a bit loopy. Such as the old nutter that decided his hearing aids let him hear God

I'm not taking the piss, this guy came in for a follow up and told me he could hear God through his hearing aids. I'd fitted him with them, and when I'd seen him the first time he seemed "fairly" sane. In that he wasn't undressing himself in front of me or asking me where the goblins come from (this has happened on more than one occasion - Devon, tch).

So he came in, sat down and said "Yeah, great, I can hear much better, but I can hear God now"

Riiiiiight. I proceed to joke with him that no hearing aid is that good, but he's not pulling my leg, he was deadly serious. Hmmmmmm

I asked him a few questions - What does he say? All the time? Can you hear any other deity or religious figure.

I just couldn't figure it out. I was in the process of referring him to a psychiatrist, checked his details, and then looked at his address. The Old Vicarage

"You don't by any chance live next to a church do you sir?"
"As a matter of fact, I do, why?"
"Because you are tuning into the sermons through your hearing aid, thats why*!"

Turns out he was telling the truth the whole time. Shows how much I think of religion I guess, I just assumed he was a crackpot.



*For the technical amongst you, he was on a loop system setting, which meant he was hearing what the church was broadcasting on their induction loop system.
(Dovvit bee, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 19:24, 1 reply)

I love the way....
you automatically cover the technical side of the story, just to preempt the nonbelievers.

This reminds me of when I was an altar server, the Priests microphone was on the same frequency (or summat. I dunno syence) as the hotel across the road, so part way through the Saturday evening mass we would hear the inevitable "One, Two. One, Two. Eyes down...." as the weekly game of bingo got underway.
(TheColonel, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 9:37, closed)