Treating a 'lady' properly
Not me but a friend of the opposite gender (female), with whom I have a long, platonic friendship, which is under threat for the reasons I shall proceed to describe.

A while ago, she informed me that the correct behaviour for a gentleman, walking alongside a lady, is to make sure that he is the one closest to the road. In this way he is 'protecting' her from cars, splashes and other dangers real & imaginary. "Oh right", I replied blandly, assuming that she was telling me this because I'm perpetually single and she was worried that I might drive away the love of my life on our first date with my poor knowledge of ambulatory etiquette.

Not quite. Apparently she wanted me to do this when I was with her. Over the next few days, she proceeded to train me. The training took the form of her stopping in the middle of the pavement to yell at me every time I found myself on her 'wrong' side. This happened quite a lot, because I wasn't used to doing it and didn't care very much anyway.

We were on holiday at the time, and the week took a sour turn when I got bored of being chastised for continual breaches of this arbitrary new rule. A drunken argument developed, which quickly escalated into a stand-up row with onlookers. I demonstrated just how far I was from acquiring gentleman status by informing my friend, (quite loudly by this point) that I would only bother treating her like a lady if I wanted to impress her, that I would only want to impress her if I was hoping to shag her, and that I wouldn't want to shag her because she was fat, ugly and now apparently mental as well.

Clearly I didn't cover myself in glory, but what I want to know is why she suddenly insisted on this new arrangement after we'd been friends for a decade and more?
(slowly play it cool, Trig, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 0:40, 12 replies)

i am a lady
and i agree with you. mental. does she stride up to the door of a shop and scream at you, "OPEN IT FOR ME YOU SILLY GIT"? does she sit in the passenger side of a car and get more and more red until you get out and walk around it and open the door for her? i wouldn't demand something like that from someone who has no emotional investment in me. instead, with my fiance, i give positive reinforcement when he does nice things (for example, "Oh, you're getting the car door for me, thank you! i love it when you do that!"). there, you get the reward AND the hint. and the bj later for being a good boy.
(fai is rocking khaz modan server as of, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 1:21, closed)

It must be great being one of your friends fai.
No emotional investment? They've been friends for over 10 years.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 6:38, closed)

Er, yeah that's it really. I don't understand where this rule came from, or why she has suddenly become a Victorian style 'lady' who expects to be treated as such. She still drinks pints, hasn't stopped belching, farting or swearing, and has shown no interest in lavender-scented handkerchiefs or embroidery.

That's all fine. I do want the friendship to continue, but on the former basis, not the new one.
(slowly play it cool, Trig, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:08, closed)

At a guess
Because she had decided she wanted to shag you, therefore a new set of rules must be applied.

Platonic friend = relaxed, let it go, no right to harass etc.

Proper relationship = he does what I say, which may cosist of lots of wierd shit that I never mentioned, because he was just a platonic friend.

She needs to have convinced herself that her decision to give up the beaver is in fact something that YOU are demanding, and that she therefore has the right to demand concessions. I'm not saying that's how women operate, but I my experience, that's how women operate.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:40, closed)

This sounds breathtakingly plausible
But then I am an unbelievable mysogynist who will believe anything if it makes women sound like nutters.


No, really.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:23, closed)

I did consider that possibility
but not until some time after I'd screamed "I don't want to shag you!" at her in the middle of a crowded street.

But women like it when you play hard to get, right?
(slowly play it cool, Trig, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 11:55, closed)

Apart from anything else, she is wrong.
A real gentleman always walks to the lady's right, thus freeing his strong right arm for drawing his sword to defend her from cutpurses and vagabonds.
Washing soiled clothing is a menial task, a true gentleman therefore gives no thought to possible muddy mishaps.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:03, closed)

people don't
use theterm cutpurses often enough for my liking. I shall use it when possible. Along with ne'erdowells
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:15, closed)

My mum and dad taught me that too...
...only not to do it for 'ladies'. It was stand closest to the road if you're with a child or someone who's elderly and frail.
(bomb, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:40, closed)

She'll be wanting the vote next

(yokelrobin THE NERD WHOSE HAIR DEFIES GRAVITY/FASHION, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 11:07, closed)

Don't you like walking on the road-side?
The other one is if you are on a narrow pavement and folk are coming towards you then you should adopt sides such that the ones on the road-side are facing the oncoming traffic even if they are girls and you are a fella and they have to go road-side.
(karnuvap, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 11:19, closed)

My ex used to do this
Puzzled me no end when he used to suddenly swap sides as we were walking. And if we were out to dinner he'd stand if I came back to the table after going to the loo. Utterly perplexing, I didn't mind if he didn't do these things!
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 11:28, closed)