No PE
First time anything !

There are condoms available that have a small amount of a numbing agent (benzocaine) on the inside tip area. The logic being that if the love helmet is desensitised then the whole event will last longer.

Anyway, me and the Mrs were using these type of johnnies. Not that I needed them. Ahem.

So one night we got down to the business after a night spent getting lashed in the pub. Compulsory foreplay was soon dealt with before the actual in-and-out stuff began. However, to add to an already de-sensitised bellend, was the seven pints that had been drunk. This had the double effect of further desensitising the already numbing area, and making the bladder full.

After a while of what, for me, was pointless pumping, the Mrs said that I felt a bit strange inside her and really full. I pulled out to find that I was pissing into the condom without realising it. There was not much I could do except grasp the johnny around my shaft and continue the piss. Soon I was stood there with a seriously extended johnny, with a bulbous end full of a pint of piss, swinging between my knees. I tried to take it off but this just casued piss to flow up the shaft all over me and the floor. I had to walk crab style all the way (downstairs) to the toilet and take it off over the bowl. Most of it still ended up on the floor.
(Bitter and Twisted, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 19:16, 53 replies)

This definitely happened.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 19:27, closed)

irl.

( ArthurTheRat, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 19:30, closed)

You've brought your friends with you!
Bless.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 19:57, closed)

I bet you spend your time writing letters of complaint to Speak You're Branes, Lamebook and, appropriately enough, Passive Aggressive Notes too.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:22, closed)

Are you out all by yourself Badger? Careful the big boys don’t make you go crying back to talk again.


Anyway, this is just one of your standard, repeated ad nauseum, cut and paste responses. Surely you’re going to show me more love than that?
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:50, closed)

I'm curious to know, I've never received an answer.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:13, closed)

Do you have any idea how boring you are?

(god_is_a_ghoti Carpe Deum., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:46, closed)

My supermodel girlfriend, who I once pissed up in my Honda tells me I'm fucking great.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:10, closed)

Christ, someone get this man a physics lesson.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 19:31, closed)

I've always wondered what it would be like to piss up a woman
I imagine it would feel very weird for her, like she was having liquid babies or something
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 19:31, closed)

I thought you did this to Becky Jizzbox.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 19:33, closed)

Naw, we just shit the bed and rolled around in it
pissing up her cunt would have been like trying to pour a carton of ribena into a fruitbowl
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 19:34, closed)

b3ta.com/talk/6882871
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 19:36, closed)

Pffft, I saw that before
Terrible bullying though, you should know that that woman's fury knows NO bounds
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 19:37, closed)

I bet she gives a great hatefuck.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 19:38, closed)

that's what I keep telling her
but she ain't having none of it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 19:45, closed)

Pissed the bed.
Thread over.
bed wife
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 21 Jul 2010, 19:35, closed)

Wow, what a response. This did happen ! And you can piss with a hard on, just requires a bit of a bend (stand in front of the toilet (with a hard on), bend forward until your forehead is almost touching the top of the cistern. Bingo Bongo ! Free flow.
(Bitter and Twisted, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 20:46, closed)

Why were you leaning over the toilet cistern to fuck your wife?
Lying cunt.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 20:59, closed)

Don't worry BT
Amorous Badger, QOTW's favorite retard, arranged a Cunt Shower for you by posting a link to your story somewhere else.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:03, closed)

Oh, is Bitter and Twisted another teenage girl you're trying to nonce up?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:06, closed)

it's possible
but given the original post it's a fucking long shot.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:13, closed)

But you do like noncing, right?

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:21, closed)

Here's what he's talking about, you tell me?
www.b3ta.com/questions/power/post784567
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:34, closed)

So, that'll be a "yes" then.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:38, closed)

Poppet does seem to be a bit of a nonce magnet.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:50, closed)

I'm going to make a judgement call here.
What I'm seeing is one prick being a needlessly insensitive prick and another prick white knighting pathetically in the hope of some MSN tit action.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:09, closed)

In conclusion.
Stop being pricks, you pricks.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:22, closed)

Original post?
tl;dr Urban legend that I first heard way back in the mists of time when I was still in school. See also: Boy eating Mars bar out of girlfriend's clunge.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:21, closed)

I've not heard that one before is it really
an old urban legend?
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:38, closed)

'Fraid so.
Of course, he might NOT be lying, and yes, you can piss with a hard on, but it is bloody painful. I just prefer to not give the benefit of the doubt.
What with me being a cunt and all.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:42, closed)

I suspect the correct collective noun for the incestuous circle-jerk hivemind of /talk adherents is a 'shortbus'.

"Oh, look - Badger's drawn attention to the fact that he's written something, like a toddler proudly pointing out the fact he managed to do a poo in the toilet, and it's attracted a shortbus of /talkers to give him a congratulatory cupping of the ballsack."
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:15, closed)

If I'm honest,
I like nothing better than giving Badger a blowjob, with extra cupping. He has a splendid penis.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:19, closed)

I tell you what, I wish is did have a handy shortbus full of adherents, it'd be really handy for getting a seat in the pub.
I could just send one or two down to save me a table.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:40, closed)

I'm glad some of you autisms are actually showing signs of a bit of backbone these days.
It's quite obvious that the hard and frankly thankless task that JMG and Badger set themselves is paying off.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:23, closed)

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:26, closed)

( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:20, closed)

*Slow handclap*
jelly.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=Syncy%2BPissed%2BThe%2BBed
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:04, closed)

Shit ! What kind of response would I get if I lied ?
(Bitter and Twisted, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:24, closed)

Pretty much the same.
We're lovely like that.
Harsh, but fair. But mostly harsh.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:36, closed)

'if'?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 7:16, closed)

hahahaha
ace
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:52, closed)

lol
Got the image of a naked man riding a piss spacehopper around the house stuck in me head, make it stop!!!! :D
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 23:14, closed)

If it helps, it almost certainly didn't actually happen.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:22, closed)

Good thing we have you then.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:30, closed)