I see your complaints, and think I have just the cure.
Now, look at this picture.




What were you going to complain about again?
(epinephrine, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 18:49, 28 replies)

Anyone fancy going clubbing?
(CaptainBalbi, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 18:54, closed)

D:
(epinephrine, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 19:01, closed)

Bloody baby harp seals
Bastards coming over here eating our fish
(gordonjcp, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 18:56, closed)

I was going to complain about baby seals...
...but instead I ended up joining the club - if you can't beat 'em join 'em.
(IdlePeAcEsign if trouble were my mistress, i'd send her to them, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 18:57, closed)

No good clubs round there then
(johnners hitting things with hammers until they work, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 19:08, closed)

aww...
I ♣ seals.
( CowJam, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 19:21, closed)

I must have spent too much
time on the internet.

I'm sitting here with my 6 year old daughter, and immediately scrolled past that pic to avoid her seeing the club land on it's head.

I gotta get out more.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 19:30, closed)

Much as I hate to disappoint people, I have a soft spot for cuddly cute things, and can't stand seeing cuddly cute things being hurt :( Can I make it up to you with some kittens?
(epinephrine, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 20:02, closed)

BLAME CANADA!!!
The seal clubbing bastards!
(Nitrous Nitrous, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 19:49, closed)

I've still not eaten seal.
I've not eaten puffin either :-(, and don't get me started on the price of whale...
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 19:52, closed)

Whale
Don't see what all the fuss is about to be honest. It tastes quite a lot like tuna sushi.
( evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 23:36, closed)

Sadly I've only had whale as sausage...
... but it was damn good. I'm told fresh whale is supposed to be like very god veal? I'd like to eat my way around all the animals if I can.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 23:56, closed)

your baby seal's treacle infuriates me further!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 20:09, closed)

Yeah, I'm going to complain about not having a club too.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 20:12, closed)

I was
Going to post a seal clubbing joke, but I think I've been beat. Or clubbed, as it were.
(patchsticles Me and you, elbow fetish club:, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 20:20, closed)

That I am not that seal

( MademoiselleDave is drunk and on the internet again on, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 21:00, closed)

That's not a seal; it's a tribble.

( Bob Todd whee, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 21:05, closed)

Decapitated?

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 21:06, closed)

With an expression like that
it should be in a chair on a balcony with a glass of wine and a croissant...smug bastard
(RTFM May your god go with you, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 21:40, closed)

I wish to complain about your seal.
For it has no legs.

While it could conceivably serve some useful purpose as a draft-excluder, a pillow or something comfy to rest my feet on, the absence of a surrounding domicile places it somewhat out of context for these applications. Thus, its lack of legs resurfaces as the issue at hand.

Furthermore, having expended notable effort in downloading and attempting to appreciate your specimen, I am now concerned that my investment will be lost as there is nothing to stop it rolling away. I dare not move my laptop for this very concern.

I would be grateful if you could examine your processes and outline the measures you will take to prevent this situation arising again and your subsequent customers being similarly disappointed.

Cheery-pips.
(dxg, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 23:14, closed)

I like this.
Nay! I love it!
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 10:17, closed)

Dear sir,

I can only apologise for what is a great oversight on the part of the designers of the seal in question. Those in charge of the production of this batch of seals have been disciplined, and we are certain this will not happen again.

As compensation, please accept a corrected seal.



Yours,

Epinephrine

Customer relations manager
(epinephrine, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 12:23, closed)

that you've rendered
my kitten pictures superfluous.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 3:28, closed)

Also
I think the seal wants me to cuddle it.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 8:12, closed)

I was going to complain...
about people posting pictures instead of stories on QOTW...
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Sat 4 Sep 2010, 16:47, closed)

WHERE'S ITS FUCKING LIMBS!!?!?!????

( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 17:20, closed)

See above!
(epinephrine, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 21:47, closed)

IT WORKS!
I really don't know what I was going to Victor Meldrew about.
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 6:35, closed)