Just in time
Back in the days when I had no qualifications or a driving license, the only job available to me was working at Wimpy at Watford Gap Services on weekends as it was only a bike ride away.

This was a terrible job where the staff were very overworked and very underpaid for what we had to put up with. The "food" always had to be cooked to order so there were regularly que's stretching for as far as the eye can see as coach loads of people came in at a time the fill their hungry stomachs with the finest roadside cuisine in Northamptonshire.

Of course, there was also an equally long que of angry people who were sick of waiting for their food which was usually cooked by one person whilst the other member of staff took care of the serving of customers and the handing out of food when its cooked.

We were allowed £8 a day food on our breaks and considering each meal was £5 and upwards, we decided that we would take the piss with what we put into the burgers. these behemoths of meat and salad encased in a fresh sesame seed bun would have cost at least £10 had they been offered to the customers.

After such a feast the previous working day, I started to have quite a bad gut towards the end of my shift, but as I didn't live too far away I decided I could make it back to comfort of my own throne room.

The bike ride home became increasingly uncomfortable as each bump in the road jogged the contents on my colon closer to evacuation earlier than planned. I had to carry my bike up a flight of stairs on the way to my house and I don't think my buttocks have been so tightly clenched since, you could have bent a 50 pence piece in half, and then half again between the cheeks.

I just about made it through the front door and to the downstairs toilet, undoing my Wimpy issue trousers on the way, when my exhausted sphincter gave in as I frantically lifted the toilet seat and turned around to lower my tired cheeks onto the ice cold porcelain without spraying the walls a nice shade of brown.

the toilet was another matter of course. The clean up operation was pretty intensive but the relief was unmeasurable.

I would appologise for length but I spent the time typing it so you can spend the time reading it.
(Rickaaay Call me Ricky, for that is my name., Mon 19 Nov 2007, 23:07, 2 replies)

wha ???
Is this a funny story about the time you needed a shit and then surprisingly done a big shit? Cos that is probably the best story I have ever heard.

Thanks a lot shit-cracker,
You really know how to write them.

P.S. A/S/L? :)...................................................zing
(L.T. Smash Humungous fail since, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 0:22, closed)

Did you ever have to wear the Mr Wimpy suit?
Cos if you did, I probably kicked you in the shin.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 8:09, closed)