Hey, leave those teachers alone!
As a former member of the teaching profession I feel I have to defend my slightly off-beat brethren (and sistren). If we teachers are eccentric it's usually as a reaction to the even madder kids we have to teach. As examples these are ones that I've had the dubious pleasure of "edumacating" as they say.

- The boy who lets out farts like Beelzebub on vindaloo EVERY lesson then insists on dropping his trousers to show everyone that his arse is clean.

- The quiet kid who on being asked to write some of the effects of drinking simply wrote the word DIE. Over and over again, all over 3 pages.

- The fat girl who beats up the boys and then cries that they don't like her.

- One kid on being asked to bring in an example of a fungus brought an excellent specimen, unfortunatley it was attached to a dead rat. He said he had it in his room and was "studying" it.

- The smelly kid (there's always one in a class) who's addicted to chiken wings and ate them at break every day. He goes batshit loony if they run out so the dinner ladies saved some for him in the end.

- One boy (about 13-14) came up to me in the first week and said that he'd decided he was going to call me "dad", and he did for the next 6 months.

I have more and these are all in comprehensive schools so they don't even have the excuse of being mongs.
Oh and don't even get me started on the cluless shmucktards that are the parents. /endrant.

Phew. I wonder why I left?
(Bo Nidle Coming back in from the cold., Fri 31 Oct 2008, 18:26, 8 replies)

Amen brother!!!
As a physics teacher I too see the leaning towards teachers (science in particular) in this thread.

Believe me, the kids are much worse.

Let me add to your list...

The kid who, when shouted at for being naughty, shits himself as a mechanism to diffuse the situation!

The kid who just shits himself anyway and shakes it out the bottom of his trouser leg, leaving it under the table as a present for the next group.

The girl who got pregnant at 13 and called the kid David Beckham Mu*****an.

The 3 kids (2boys 1 girl) who hid in the stock cupboard... Girl gives one boy a blowjob while the other boy films on mobile, then bluetooths to the whole school!!!

There are endless tales... and to be honest, the job would be boring without them!!!
(dampwookie failing to understand everything from birth up to, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 18:38, closed)

Wait
you want to try Primary.

I love the way that children will put their hand up during the introduction and tell you the have a new puppy.

My favourite so far was the strange child who forgot his PE kit. So I sent him to the class nextdoor to borrow one.
After PE when they were getting changed I reminded him to return the PE kit. So he stripped off, picked up the kit, and wandered down the corridor wearing nothing but his pants.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:55, closed)

My friend George...
...was so shy at primary school that once, when he'd forgotten his kit, he just got naked and joined the line for the walk to the gym rather than face the embarassment of telling the teacher. Great logic!

He also once tried so hard to hold in a fart during assembly that it actually whistled out of him at an incredibly loud volume. Everyone in the school turns round to see George grimacing in embarassment, and the headteacher just said 'I think you'd better leave the room, dear'.

He's a bit braver nowadays, but I still worry about him a little bit.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Sat 1 Nov 2008, 11:35, closed)

Sweet baby Jesus
I can't see straight for laughing at this!
( El Lazarus is calm now, Ish,, Sat 1 Nov 2008, 16:48, closed)

Oh I wish this had been on the main page...
Honorary click since it wasn't.
(paof2 Nude might not be rude, but rude could be nude..., Mon 3 Nov 2008, 12:31, closed)

Aw, thanks...
It doesn't really fit the bill though, I reckon. Maybe I'll repost if there's a QOTW about the painfully shy.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Mon 3 Nov 2008, 23:30, closed)

This is not fair
I am in an open plan office with my boss directly in front of me. The only thing saving me is a 24" monitor
(conanow, Mon 3 Nov 2008, 15:24, closed)

As a former schoolboy
i might have farted in class but i don't think I ever shat myself, though I seem to recall one other doing it in my 12 years of school. maybe about third grade (8 years old). This is a pea roast from the same topic - Two wierd boys.
Last year of primary school, there were two brothers in 5th and 6th grades. The 5th grader was a thumb sucker. At 9 or 10 years old it's strange. But the older brother made him look normal. He sucked the two middle fingers of his right hand, while he held a downy chicken feather to his nose between thumb and forefinger.
(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 13:03, closed)