I had a vasectomy recently
It makes childbirth look like a walk in the park, they open up your tackle on local anaesthetic (you are offered general anaesthetic but it's not as masculine telling this down the pub if your unconcious during the op) I had also agreed to have a student nurse watch to attempt to learn something as "they don't get to see many of these" this meant everytime a piece was cut out of me it was held up for the student (and myself) to see, add this to the fact that everytime they pull on the Vas tube to get a better grip it feels like your being kicked in the balls repeatedly.

Couple this with the fact that by the time i got out of the operating room to get a lift home EVERYONE in the urology department had gone, even the shutter was down on reception and i was feeling very sick and had a bout of the cold sweats as i shuffled (very carefully) out through to the car park. She also used stronger stitches as she was too heavy handed and kept snapping them as she pulled them through my two veg, this meant that after three weeks (they were supposed to dissolve and drop out after two) i got an inflammatory response as the wound was healed and my body now recognised the stitches as a foriegn object so i had to cut them out with nail scissors.

Bomb disposal experts don't hold their breath as well as i did for those few minutes.
(Boiled_Tater is not the messiah, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 18:30, 6 replies)

Ooh, I had hip surgery when I was 4 and I got those stitches that are supposed to dissolve, but they didn't. I still clearly remember standing in the bathroom hollering in pain as my mom pulled them out, one by one. *winces*
(Tarana, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 18:52, closed)

I am suprised they gave you stitches
When I had my knacks hacked up 12 years ago they only made a tiny slit in each side, and when they finished they used a load of cornflour to stop the bleeding. I still walked like John Wayne, but every time I sat down a small cloud rose out of my pants, which made it all worth while.

Best thing to do is get 2 bits of soggy macaroni in a jar and take it to work to show your mates your 'trophy'. Bonus points if one of them passes out when you start chewing them.
(turtles head is touching cloth poked a dwarf on the forehead at, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 18:55, closed)

"makes childbirth look like a walk in the park"
Trollbait (I can almost hear them scurrying in the corridors, much like the imps in Doom).
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 19:04, closed)

you have more chance
of being able to walk in the park after childbirth, i wish i could bottle up pain and then any woman who dared say "you haven't given birth! you don't know real pain!" i would open my bottle of "Pre & Post Vasectomy bollock ache" and throw it cleanly in the bitches face and then say "Who's your daddy?"*


* _{because it ain't me, sorry Annie}
(Boiled_Tater is not the messiah, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 20:08, closed)

you obviously
had it really bad and for that I feel for you. I recovered very well and was back at work that evening and apart from having to wear speedos to "keep it all in", suffered very little discomfort. The speedos went in the bin afterward.
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 22:15, closed)

Not near as bad for me.
I'm phobic of needles, so I took a good dose of vitamin V before they did the whole snip and tuck bit. Didn't really notice much except that it was the first time the fellows got their own pillow. Not much fun walking for a day or two. But I understand the concept of taking it easy. My brother who had the same bit done isn't quite as quick on the uptake. His idea of taking it easy involved 18 holes of golf. At about the 12 hole, he noticed his golf partner staring at his nether regions. I guess he was surprised to see his buddy having his period on the golf course. When he got home, his wife (a nurse) proceeded to ream him out and stitch him up, with throat spray as an anesthetic. They actually use the spray for gelding pigs around here. I'm sure there is some poetic justice in that.
(mrbuddhafreak, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 20:47, closed)